The Pink Package

If you read the earlier post "The Letter", then you read that my friend Katie Sorensen told her friend who runs the "Fighting Pretty" non-profit about my situation and personal battle with Thyroid cancer. Before I go into what was in that bright pink box, and what it all means to me as I struggle through the full gamut of emotions, I want to tell you a little bit about my dear friend Katie.

Justin and I met Katie many years ago when we first started dating. She was a friend of my highschool/college friend Nicole. I didn't know what I was getting into when I met Katie. Let's just say she's all THAT and then some ;) She's the fastest person on hand-crutches and wheelchair that I know, with a sense of humor to match. But she's someone with the biggest heart for others and the hurting. Over the years, she's given me rides in her car (did I mention, she's the only New Jersey driver I'll get in the car with???) watched my kids for us, brought ME meals when I've had my many surgeries and hospitalizations, served with me at my work in the men's and women's recovery programs and homeless shelters at CityTeam Ministries, taken me camping at Big Sur and given Emma and Anders wheel chair rides through Oakridge Mall. To sum it up, Katie has given her life to Christ and asked him to use her life for his purpose and will. Through all of this, she's had countless surgeries and hospitalizations in her life. She has NEVER allowed her physical health problems get in the way of doing anything. If I'm not mistaken, I think she was even the captain on the rowing team at her college!

 So pretty much, don't ever challenge this woman to an arm wrestling match, you WILL lose :) She has a heart for the hurting in Africa that are struggling with the same health issues she's faced her entire life, and as frequently as she can, returns to Africa (wheelchair and all) to help train and equip people on how to live their life to the fullest, but she also shares the gospel too. Quite frankly, I've been receiving a lot of mail lately. Care packages, scarfs, and cards galore from all over the place. I cherish and have saved each and every one! But when my Mom and I got the mail this afternoon, seeing a bright pink box in my name made me question it. I think we all know that the bright pink color is representative of the fight against Breast cancer. I don't have breast cancer, in fact there are three easter-y colors for Thyroid cancer and bright pink isn't one of them. I opened the box not knowing who it was from, or why someone thought I had breast cancer. I felt guilty, because Thryoid cancer, as involved as it is with hormones and metabolism, isn't as life threatening by far as Breast cancer is. So out dumps this beautiful tissue paper with pretty glittery ribbons and beauty products. Hair products, eye brow tatoos and other cancer-recovery related items. A special anti-scarring cream, soft cotton scarf and necklace along with a letter. The letter explained it all clearly to me. I then knew who was responsible for this pink box, and also that they knew of my story and that I didn't have Breast cancer but that even though, they knew the tolls that cancer can take on the female body and psyche. That's when I lost it folks. I hit the ground, threw my face down and hands to the sky. I can share with you all on Facebook until the cows come home about my good days and bad days, but only God, my personal Father, knows the pains and joys I face each day.

He knows my past, present and future days to come. He has delicately brought the right people in my life at the right time, with seconds to spare. He's taken me broken, sick and hurting into His embrace and through others, reminded me that A) he will always love me and think that I'm the most precious jewel B) his plans and power are far greater than anything I can comprehend and C) he can and WILL use others whether I'm as willing and able to let them into my deepest sorrows and trials. He's used strangers at church, friends of friends, family from third generations, nurses, doctors, even patients to remind me that he's got this disease in His hands and under His control. He's shown me that he'll even use my 4 year old daughter to hold my hair back when she sees me throwing up to comfort me, my husband in ways no husband should see his wife, and yet Justin will be the first to come to my side, give in to my stubborn requests of removing IV's, stitches and other crazy ideas I've had to find comfort. Heck the guy has given my nurses a break and taken me and my IV poles to the bathroom a hundred times because my sorry self refuses to let the nurses see me in such a vulnerable state. I seem to forget, that is their job, and they see this stuff day in and day out. Folks NOTHING fazes nurses. I hang around with a lot of them in Roosevelt. They are my surrogate family, and they deserve pink packages filled with a million bucks each for what they see and deal with on a daily basis but done so with grace and love. I couldn't do it, but I'm thankful for all of them. I try and bake them all cookies, send them all cards. I'm pretty well known by most of the hospital at this point as "you...again? Michelle, we have got to stop meeting like this". There is nothing that I can do to ever thank them for what they've done for me, NOTHING.

(Tears of joy, don't worry!)

So, with all of that said. Today I want to share with you love, peace and understanding that only Jesus can bring in my life. If I ever seem like I have it "together" because I'm always so happy and smiling, know that Jesus is the reason behind this smile. This joy, during sorrow, that's Jesus in my life. I could not get through ANY of what we've been through the last 4 years without my savior by my side. He's the Alpha and Omega, and I will continue spending my life, singing of his praises! I gladly open myself up to anyone who wants to sit down and talk with me about this peace. Lord knows, I couldn't have done this on my own,  and you don't have to either!

Love,
Michelle

The Letter

I'm breaking up my experience today regarding the "Pink Package" into two posts. It's just a lot to read and take in. Part of me wanted to sum up the letter I was sent. But all of it is important, and I always like to share light on great non-profits doing good in the community, in case those I know are looking for somewhere respectable and trustworthy to donate towards:

Fighting Pretty

Dear Michelle,

I hear you are quite the amazing lady!

My name is Kara Skaflestad, and I too was diagnosed with cancer. At the age of 26, I was diagnosed with Stage 3B breast cancer and went through everything from a double mastectomy, chemo, radiation, and am still on hormone therapy. Though you are going through your own journey, I can certainly relate to the emotions and craziness of what you are going through. Your friend, Katie Sorensen (whom I went to High School with!), reached out to me and told me how amazing you are, so we wanted to send you a Pretty Package in hopes that it will brighten your day!

"Fighting Pretty" is a non-profit organization that I recently started to help women like you feel strong and beautiful during and after cancer treatments. So please enjoy some of the items in this "Pretty Package" to celebrate just how amazing you are! As you will see, we've included some goodies for you...inspirational items to remind you to keep on fighting, some makeup and a scarf to help you feel fabulous, but most importantly, a pair of mini pink boxing gloves.

The story of the boxing gloves began when I was going through chemotherapy, and my best friend's mom - also a survivor - sent me a pair of mini pink boxing gloves. In her note she told me they were a symbol of strength: to always remember to never stop fighting! So I hung mine on my bedpost and looked at them every single day. About two years later, I encountered a woman who was diagnosed with breast cancer. I looked at myself and knew my fight was over, and her fight was beginning. So I sent my boxing gloves to her and she used them to stay strong and have hope that she too would get through her fight. Well, she finished her fight last year, and she is doing great! So what did she do? She sent those boxing gloves on to someone she knew battling lymphoma - all for the symbol of strength of and hope. 

So please use those pink boxing gloves as a reminder to never give up and keep on fighting your fight! And when you are all finished - and healthy, happy - you can pass them on too!

We wish you all the best Michelle, and know you are in our thoughts and prayers. And always remember, you are beautiful, fabulous and amazing! 

And if you would like to share any tips or send any pictures on how you are "fighting pretty" please email us at fightingpretty@gmail.com and we will feature them on our website to help other women!

Love always,

Kara Skaflestad

Breast Cancer Survivor

Meet Herman's Better Half, Chelsea.

Tara, Dr. Catten and I had so much fun with my surgery last time (if you have to do this stuff, at least have a good sense of humor!) that we decided to record and take pictures again. The picture isn't as clear this time, but really there wasn't much to see. What you see in the picture is the left half of my thyroid, Chelsea my marble-sized tumor and a bunch of little baby tumors that had taken over my thyroid. Now the video I find hilarious. It's a weird feeling seeing yourself "asleep" under general anesthesia, unaware of what's going on with YOUR body. Maybe I have a sick sense of humor but it cracks me up :) I hope you enjoy Tara my nurse friend who moved us here to Utah and my A-MAZING surgeon Dr. Catten. The beeping you hear momentarily is my surgeon getting close to the nerve monitor so that I don't lose my voice forever. Thank you Tara for taking care of me again and for the lovely video and photo, my dear fellow scrapbooker ;).

Thank you to EVERYONE, from all walks, for praying and caring over me and my family. I will never be able to thank you all enough for what you've done for me during this scary and crazy time in my life. We are truly blessed by each and everyone one of you! Love, Michelle

My awesome video and photo :) Hashimoto's disease, be gone!

Meet Herman

I've been able to share with some of you personally, photos of Herman and my surgery. It's not the most glamorous side of me, but it's real and shows just what I've been living with since giving birth to sweet little Emma. Without further ado, here's Herman:

Front View

Back View

I had this sucker in my neck for WAY too long. I'm so relieved to have him out and even happier that I can eat and drink normally without the feeling of choking. How the heck did this fit in my neck??? 

I'm not sure if this hand is that of my friend Tara, or not. But I have to take a moment to tell you about her. She's a special friend to me in a few ways. One, she's the wife of Justin's best friend. She's sweet, caring and such a good Mom. Two, she is part of the reason we moved here and such a good friend to me! Since we've moved to Vernal, I don't always get to see her as much but I love that we are able to pick up right where we left off. She's so much fun and I am forever indebted to her for being there for me and my family when we've needed it most. I know I'll be unconscious again, but I can't wait to have her by my side to remove the rest of my thyroid and the second tumor. I have such peace about the whole procedure knowing she's there in the room with me, taking awesome pictures and video might I add ;) and just caring for me. Thank you Tara for doing things to me I never knew any friend would do, haha and STILL wanting to hang out afterwards :)

Now to meet with Dr. Catten again next week with Justin to figure out how to help me feel better and what the next steps are after (hopefully my last) surgery on October 7th. 

Ode to my 20's

I thought since today I journey into the beginning of my 30's that maybe I should look back at all that has happened in my 20's (both good and bad) and be excited about what's to come over the next decade in my life. To be honest, I've been giving Justin a lot of crap about him turning 30 for quite some time (haha, see there I go again) but I've been dreading turning 30 myself. Well my friends, today I have no choice, at 5pm MST I will officially join Justin in being old ;). Here's my recap:

20 years old:

Backpacked throughout Western Europe with just a handful of strangers/friends I'd met along my journey. France, Italy, Switzerland, England. I was mugged in the UK, slept on the pebble beaches of Nice, sampled wines all over the Italian coast, and came home with a new perspective on life having lived 6 weeks with just the belongings on my back. 

21:

My third year in college at UC Santa Cruz and my parents (along with Justin's) introduced us at church. I thought he was an old creepy guy that was scamming on younger girls. HA! Boy was I wrong. That year I dropped out of college and married my best friend. I can't imagine doing life without him and can't wait to experience my 30's, 40's and beyond with this man of God. 

22:

Enjoyed our first year of marriage. Though I didn't finish my accounting degree, God continually provided for us and I was blessed to be hired at CityTeam Ministries as their Marketing Specialist. Talk about a life-changer. I thought I had life nailed, God opened my eyes to so many truths and revealed his majesty to me in ways I have never experienced before. 

23:

Took a few trips and a cruise with Justin, enjoyed our jobs and ministry work, got involved with our Young Married's group at church and made some of the most fulfilling relationships with people I'm blessed to call friends. Talk about a support group, I don't think I could have survived the next 4 years without them!

24:

-Bought our first home and started feathering our "nest". Justin being gone a lot on the weekends with the military made me super lonely at home. So Justin got me Ginger to keep me company and provide me companionship when he was gone. She is my super pup and the best dog a girl could ask for. I'm so blessed my in-laws have adopted her and take just as good of care, if not better, than what we were providing Ginger. 

-Started talking about having a baby, but because of an injury I had when I was a kid, were told we may not get pregnant so easily. God has a funny sense of humor when we doubt his plans and let our fears take over. Surprisingly we became pregnant our first try with a little girl that would rock our world and turn it upside down. 

25:

-Still working full-time, I went on leave and March 21st gave birth to my greatest accomplishment yet. Emma Anne has taught me more about myself then any other experience in my whole life combined. I love that girl to the moon and back. 

-Justin lost his job due to the bad economy and was laid of temporarily. That was a bummer, but it looked to be a short-term situation.

-5 weeks post-partum, my doctors discovered that I had given birth to two gifts, one good, one bad. I had grown a 3cm tumor on the right lobe of my thyroid. It was large enough to be biopsied on the spot. Turns out to be 3/4 mass and 1/4 fluid, so the fluid was drained but I was warned until it was removed I'd need twice a year biopsies. 

-Justin's job picks up and he's working here and there while friends and family help watch Emma for us while we are working during the day (Thanks Mom, Alice, Cindy, Matt and Katie Peters and Melissa Altknecht-you guys saved us!)

26:

-Life seems to be back to normal until Justin gets laid off again. He gets deployed to Moron, Spain with the Airforce. It's such a weird feeling when you get only one phone call from your husband and and he misses your first Mother's Day and Birthday out of a short 6 weeks. So thankful for my highschool friend Nichole Wright to help me sift through those emotions. She is a strong woman and has survived much longer, and more dangerous deployments with her hubby than this and is such an inspiration to me. 

-A couple weeks after Justin returns home and we're pregnant again. Absence makes the heart grow fonder :)

27:

-I go on leave again from work (Thank you Carol Patterson and Marie Hunsucker for dealing with my pregnant moodiness at work) and give birth to the little man that stole my heart. 3 days before Justin's birthday I give birth to Anders Phillip at a whopping 9lbs 3oz and 22 inches long. I know, I know. Many of my friends have had bigger babies, but c'mon, how many of you are 5 feet tall? I can't even say 5'1" on a good day, it'd be a lie :). I was unsure about having a boy, coming from an all girl family for 7 generations. But this handsome boy is the sweetest, most tender-hearted little guy I know. 

-5 weeks post-partum I have emergerncy gallbladder surgery with major damage done to my liver and jaundiced to kingdom come. One of the scariest times of my life. MRI's, MRCP's, bloodwork daily for 2 weeks, IV's, surgeons. I COULD NOT HAVE SURVIVED WITHOUT MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS. True story. Thank you Lord for providing amazing medical staff and loved ones to lift me up out of dark place I was at. 

-1 day after surgery, Justin gets activated with the Airforce for 4 months. I'm a new mom to two kids, just had surgery and my husband has to leave me for 4 months. I was numb. How would I do everything without him and take care of myself? Thank you Alice, Cindy and Mom for living with me and the kids, taking turns helping me with housework and my kids, or keeping me comfortable on the couch those first two weeks after surgery. 

28:

-Justin and I get an answer to prayer for my hubby's 3 years of joblessness through his buddy Scott that he worked with in the Marine Corps. January 14th Justin hugged us goodbye and moved to Eastern Utah. While the kids and I were left behind in CA, God blessed us with amazing tenants, had garage sales to sell our stuff, moved what was left of our "home" into every inch of my parents house, and I put in my notice at work. After 5 years of the best ministry work a girl could ask for I left a job that I loved and packed up my little family to join Justin in Utah. It was the second scariest time in my life but one that we gave wholly to God and trusted his plan. 

-Justin came home from a short Airforce trip to Japan and we became pregnant with little Leah. To say I had bad morning sickness is an understatement. I'm hoping this normal pregnancy symptom means I shouldn't lose any organs come my 5 week post partum check up in June this year, but I'm not holding my breath. 

29:

-Been a pretty low-key year after a couple years of craziness. I've finally caught my breath in time for us to take another big leap and build a new house here and create our new "home" and life in Utah. 

-The biggest blessing of this year was meeting my older brother for the first time since I was 5 years old and giving birth to our third beautiful little one Leah Josephine. 

With all that said, I'll be embracing my 30's with open arms because I know the Lord has some big things planned, however he chooses to use me :)

Love,

This 30 year old

Today I received an email from a missionary I used to work with at CityTeam Ministries. His name is Jim and his wife and children live with him in Indonesia. They've been on staff with CityTeam for many years doing the Lord's work overseas and I felt compelled to share with you this prayer letter update he emailed. It's about sex trafficing, and I know so many of you that are reading my blog today have recently become passionate about helping to stop this vicious cycle that claims so many young lives around the world. If you feel led to give or would like information, please let me know and I'll do my best to get you in contact with Jim and CityTeam Ministries. Here's Jim's experience where he lives right now:

YOST'S PRAYER UPDATE

At dawn Jesus appeared in the temple courts where all the people gathered around Him, and He sat down to teach them.  The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery.  They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery.  In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women.  Now what do you say?  They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing Him.  But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with His finger.  When they kept on questioning Him, He straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her".  At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left with the woman still standing there.  Jesus asked her, "Woman, where are they?  Has no one condemned you?"  "No one, Sir", she said.  "Then neither do I condemn you", Jesus declared.  "Go now and leave your life of sin."    

- John 8:2-11 -

  

THE HEARTBREAK OF FEMALE TRAFFICKING 

Indonesia:

70,000 women and 30,000 children are trafficked within and across Indonesian borders each year

The annual income from prostitution in Indonesia ranges between US$ 1.2 and 3.3 billion.

These girls work "on the street" in a certain city in another country in Asia.  There is an average of 60-70 girls, ages ranging from 15-27 standing on the street. They come from all over Indonesia. Their passports are false and dates of birth changed, when their passports are arranged a few days before sending them out. The majority were promised jobs in restaurants and pubs and never knew they would line the pavement, selling themselves.

30 days is the maximum time they can legally be in this country. They are not allowed to work without work permits. A contract is as follows: serve 120 men and receive nothing but $10/day for food.  After they meet their “target” they have between 2- 5 days left to “earn” for themselves.  How much can they earn at $30/client ($20 for the girl and $10 for the pimp)?

Here's what it would be like if you "walked the street with them" one time.  You talk, laugh, hug, hand out snacks, exchanged phone numbers and BB pins under the ever watchful eyes of the pimps.  Some pimps allow you to engage with the girls and pray for them and others refuse it.  Just trying to imagine what these gals have gone through to be able to stand on the street, breaks your heart.  They wear clothes they would never wear at home.  Never before have you seen so much fear in someones eyes.  Even while talking to you their eyes constantly scan the street on high alert for another possible police raid; always ready to run.

As you're chatting with the girls, from nowhere the police come in and grab 7 of the gals you are talking to and a pimp.  In 8 days, 35 of these girls are taken, meaning they get a red stamp in their passport and are not allowed to return to this country for 3 years.
It sounds like good news.  On the other hand, you ask yourself what are they returning to?  Are they sent home or are some of them sent to a different destination?  You don’t know.  This is the only vocation they know.  Some of them have not even completed secondary school.

RESTORATION MINISTRIES

For several years we've been quietly but steadily "saving" girls out of the sex industry until now we have 5 centers for prostitute rehabilitation throughout the country of Indonesia.  On an average, $500 will buy out the contract of a gal and give her a new chance at life.  Then she learns to start "following Jesus" in community with other gals like herself.  She begins sharing what she's learning with other gals still caught in the trap of prostitution and she eventually starts an inductive Bible study with them.  If you'd like to get involved in this ministry with us, we have a special account with Cityteam International in San Jose, California called YOST RESTORATION MINISTRIES where all donations go to "saving" these girls.

  

PRAY : that the tide of female trafficking in Indonesia will be turned back through a spiritual reformation!

PRAY : that we'll be successful at starting small micro-credit businesses with these gals so they can be financially independent and not lured back into the sex industry.

PRAY : that we'll be able to bring these gals back to their original villages and towns so as to be reconciled with their families and show how their lives have been transformed!

  

LET'S ALL PRAY AND WORK FOR TRANSFORMATION TO COME TO THE STREETS WHERE ENSLAVED GIRLS EXPERIENCE THE FATHER'S LOVE!

  

Thank you for praying!

JIM (for Joan, Amy, Jenni, Megan and Maxi)

Queen Emma's Bath

We've been having so much fun on our family trip to Kauai. Justin and I honeymooned here and have come back one other time but this third trip has really been special. We found out we were pregnant with our third child and have been able to share our love of this special island we're so fond of with our kids. We've been to other Hawaiian islands, but Kauai is so much more beautiful and fun for us. We enjoy the hikes, beaches and people. If it weren't for my FIL and MIL gifting us these trips we'd never be able to afford vacations like this. We really like to make the most of this gift and blessing from them as often as we can :)

For a couple months my bookworm, Emma, has been wanting to learn more about Kauai and different bodies of water here. Not sure what her hang up is about water on this island, but I thought I'd indulge her curiosity and do a little research along with her :) We learned a while ago about Hawaii's Queen Emma and her "bath" on Kauai. Queen Emma was loved by her people and devoted most of her life to serving others. She was married young, and had one son that she lost early on. A year later, her husband the king died and she remained a widow the rest of her life. She built a hospital for local Hawaiian's since most were becoming ill with new diseases brought over by the British and American's in the 1800's.

To get to the Queen's Bath we had to hike down a steep, muddy hill, cross a waterfall or two and climb over a lava shelf until we reached the pool. It's actually a really dangerous place most of the year except for summer during low-tide. Since we're on Mountain Standard Time anyways, we've been up and ready by 5am :) Just in time for low tide....ehhhhh.

We got to the bath, and a honeymooning couple was there snorkeling and hanging out. They were SO sweet and Emma was hooked on the wife Aleisha. So you'll see a couple pictures of Emma's new friend, who listened to our 3 year olds rants about Queen Emma and her reign as well as indulged in Emma by calling this "her bath" hahaha. I'm going to have to break the news gently when we get back to Utah that Emma isn't really a queen, just the sweetest little girl I know :)

The slippery slope 

Aleisha, the sweet newlywed who was Emma's BFF at "her" bath, lol. 

Rogue waves are known to sweep people sitting here out to sea, so we made it a quick picture

Aleisha's husband snorkeling over the octopus, I wasn't down for that!

My lovies!

The Queen's Bath isn't complete without a proper Emma to bathe in it :) 

Aloha :)